dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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