What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
