Don't you send me to vm
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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