I will die if light touches me.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
