Where is the hickey?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
