people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
