first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Randomize
