Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
