You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
