Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
