I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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