i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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