The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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