She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
