Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
