there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
