the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
