if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
