its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
