I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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