there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
