3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
