I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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