Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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