Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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