I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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