is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We named our party play list daddy issues
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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