Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
