i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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