I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
