You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
