I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
