It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You ruined the universe
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
