She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
