Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
