Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I'm really busy with my period
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