When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
