so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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