My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
