I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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