oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I lost the right to judge tonight
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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