Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
