I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
