I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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