You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
