The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize