she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
