the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
