It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My dad is sitting where you rode me
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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