McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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