It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
