How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
