So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
