You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
