She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
