I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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