I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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