I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
