before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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