Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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