im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize