How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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