only if we run a train.
done.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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