Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We are all done wearing pants today
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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